Monday, October 26, 2015

To All of us, Mom's.

I’ve been wanting to write about this, but I have had mixed emotions about it for a long time.

Like 3 years of a long time. 
My heart played a lot of games with me about this- my heart and my mind. When I decided that I was going to write a blog, I knew I needed it to be the truth- and nothing but the truth. I didn't want to waste your time or mine.

It was to tell of God's goodness through all of it. Nothing Else.

With all of that being said, I really want to talk to the Mom's today who are pulled by guilt, shame, the feeling of inadequacy, and anything else that comes with being a mom.

When I first got married, I just knew I was going to be a stay at home mom. I saw how beautiful it was, and really envied the the whole idea of it. To spend quality time with babies, to see them grow moment by moment, to be there for everything and not miss a thing. 
That's what I had in my mind that was going to be my life.

I just knew it- God totally had to give me the desires of my heart, right? He knew I so badly wanted this, and was ready to start this new chapter in my life.

And then, it didn't happen.
What actually happened was exactly what I needed, and what God had for me. 

Hard to hear? Yes, it is.
But it is so true.

This season for me had become a season of faith growth. I mean, like some serious faith was being birthed.
My mind was blown.
 How could my father not give me what I want? And was this really the best thig he had for me? 
To not be with my daughter?
I was totally disillusioned.

In the beginning of her life- I struggled. She didn't sleep well, she was spirited. 
She kicked my tail. I was suffering from Post-Partum Depression and didn't even know it. Life was moving around me so quickly that I missed what was going on.
 (I am going to touch on that subject by itself one day.)

I started working not too long after she was born, and I seriously could not see how this made any sense. I was so angry and bitter. I wanted to live a life that was full of love and grace- but I just couldn't see it, or better yet I could not feel it.

My life was one big “I have to do this or I won't live up". 
Live up to what? Whose standards? I quickly realized friends, that my heart and mind had been tricked. I was living with a constant need to do and be enough- and parenthood was just one of the ways God was going to show me my ugly, and renew my heart. 

And man did he begin to work- Let round 573 of the purging begin.

See, because at the end of the day it’s not about whether you are working or not. I thought if I could have stayed home, that it all would have been ok. That I wouldn't of gone through that season. Oh but Sweet Alexandra, you just had no idea. God's plans are always perfect- and He was going to show me, he was going to give me a taste of his faithfulness. And I tasted sweet sisters. It took a few years in this season to get it. And when I began to see it all for what it was, I saw his redemption song all over it. My heart was being made new.

 It doesn't matter if you stay home, part-time- or whatever. 
He will do what He needs to do right where he has us.
We just have to allow Him to show us what that is. It takes us opening our hearts and being still- even in the madness.

 It's about your trust for Him, and living with and In His Joy and Goodness through it.
 What your family needs, sister is not want your friends family needs. And comparing your life to another’s will just pretty much rob you.
It gives the enemy a foothold sister- it’s the begging of something that will consume you and destroy you.

He has called you to be where you are in life- not only has he called you sweet sister, but It is in his perfect will to have you there. He knows where we are needed, and he will take care of the rest. It’s a beautiful and ridiculously difficult juggling act, all while having a blindfold on.
Without faith in Him- without seeking His will and guidance, it will feel and be impossible. We will constantly be out of breath- and I don't know about you sis, but I am tired of being out of breath.

  Seeing God's hand work through it all is the beauty of it. He does what he does in all situations and circumstances.

So if you are a mom-
   Be freed right now from Guilt, shame, and any other heavy and ugly thing that the enemy has taken from you.

 Lets run to our father and seek His face- let's allow Him to guide us in this hard and difficult journey. 

Love on your momma friend-and tell her you love her.

 Remind her that in ALL that she does, she is righteous, chosen, and redeemed.

 That God has given her those Children because he knew she would be the best for them.

 Remind her that whether she is at home or not- that her Children will see a disciple of Christ, 
Loving in Grace and courage. 

A Brave women, who has been called for such a time as this.

We come to you right now asking you to guide us Lord through this thing called motherhood. We pray that you fill us God, and equip us to be the women that you have called us to be right where we are at, not only for our families, but for your people. Remind us everyday father, why it is that we have breath. Engrave in us a sense of urgency to live a life of Boldness and truth. To live a life that will show and reflect your goodness-because through this we know our Children will take heath. Their hearts will see these things in action. Lord, let them not be just words God, but let us walk these things out with a fierce conviction and grace. 

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Love you Sister Friend,

You Rock. 

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