Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Another Year.



Wow you guys, tomorrow is my birthday. Another year, another chance given to me by my almighty God to get this right. I have been in a period of isolation and silence. I have not had too many friends the past few years, and was really focused on my husband and myself and my many battles.

 I know now God was purifying me and my family. I needed it, even though it was painful, even though  it was not what I wanted, it was HIS will, and I had to believe that it was for the best. I prayed for it, I prayed that he would make me into the women he wanted me to become, to become a woman that he could use for his glory. So, he is doing it. The beginning of the journey was not easy, but needed.

It is really amazing how much God loves us. He really does love us y'all. He made us, and is waiting for us to call out to him for every single need. In my life, I have dealt with insecurities and guilt, a serious amount of them, but today I can say that I now know who I am. I know who I am because I have found myself in JESUS. The only one. I am desperate for his presence, and he knows it.

 I feel a shift in my life, in my friends, in this generation for the people who are seeking him. I am seriously so overwhelmed by God's love for me right at this second that I just can't take it. I am a broken vessel, as broken as they come y'all. It’s the truth. and he showed me so much of his grace in my life that I just did not deserve. 

Sisters, none of us are worthy enough for how wondrous and how amazing God is. He knows we get scared, but his love rushes in to take us, and the lies that we hear in us SILENCE. That is who he is. He is the only truth. My joy comes from him now. Not my husband, children, friends, or job. Have you ever wondered why life wasn't what you wanted it to be? Why you are empty? If you are there, please know that this feeling will never leave until you realize who your joy and happiness is to come from. 

He will strip us of the things that hinder us so that we can see what a raw and real relationship with him means.

I don’t know what will come in the next year. I don’t know what he wants with espresso grace, where he will take our family and our desire to serve him. But it doesn't matter, even for this type A crazy girl who needs a plan for everything. I am leaving It up to him. All I know is that I am going to continue to fight for this generation with love. I am going to speak of his name with no shame. I am going to be bold, I will have valor. I will be brave for whatever comes my way.

You are really amazing.
I love you, and most importantly, the creator of the stars loves you even more.

XOXO,
Alexandra


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